Angels and Demons

Dashed on the road, drove away my demons far from home,

Peace was in pieces, as pictures of past flashed in monochrome.

Stood by the river, still clutching the tragic truths of my life,

Tears fell but the eyes were dry, I hit the road again but of nostalgia this time.

 

It was all seven years ago, but her blood was still running through my veins,

Drowning in a river full of sorrows, the reason why I started snorting cocaine.

Her mind at the peak of her innocence, as she sympathized even for the devil,

Loving everything which crossed her path, she brought the degree of humanity to the next level.

 

But as she embraced life in a world of her own, she was convinced nothing could be bad,

So she chose to wander outside from her bubble, even farther than she ever had.

One time she relied herself a little too much, as she ventured one of the darkest path of all time,
Unaware that even at an age so fragile, she would’ve met with one of the fateful days of her life.

 

A shadow of soul blended so perfectly in her life, won her heart before she could even realize,
Arms wrapped around her waist and lips gliding over her’s, she was mesmerized by his lustful eyes.
But as she was blindfolded by his charisma, she never realized that his love was so shallow,
Ruptured the very foundation of her innocence and trust, as he left her all broken and hollow.

 

As shadow of soul finally drifted away, she screamed until her throat almost erupted,

Her blood boiling with rage and betrayal, as her faith of all these years lay disrupted.

Shoved to the dark abyss, which was she oblivious about, she couldn’t climb up even when she tried,
Never again would she trust anyone anymore, as the agony worse than her nightmares ripped her insides

 

Months after the night which scarred her memories, yet the demons of past wanders in her head,
Happy souls reminiscent of the dark night she faced, traces of her lovely smile are now dead.
She wonders if she’ll ever be able to find herself again, if she’ll ever be able to walk beside seashores,
Tired of being stared by these four walls, she wonders if she’ll ever be able to move beyond these closed doors.

 

Darkness in her days and darkness in her nights, she wonders if her tunnel will ever have a ray of light,
If she’ll ever find someone again who would love her unconditionally, someone who would make her future bright.
She now waits for someone  who’d make her forget her fatal past, someone who’d make her whole,
For someone to erase those million scars, permanently engraved and notched in her soul.

*               *               *

But then came a point in my life, when I knew I slipped off the track, I momentarily enjoyed walking on,
Because karma isn’t something which would wash out our sins  with the rise of  next dawn.
How much I now wish that I could just turn back time and stop myself to commit such a grave mistake,
How could I have ever broken the beauty of my angel in first place?

Seven years later, still delving into the depths of hell and repenting for the deadliest deeds of mine,
Trying to comfort the burden of guilt lurking inside, by snorting cocaine and  drinking wine.
All what is left for me and all what will ever be, is to lean down and pray,

Because game of angels and demons have led me from my home far, far away…

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Insanity

Trench coat, blood soaked, he wandered streets after midnight,

Knife in one hand, gun in another, his insanity spoke after daylight.

Madness lurked, he quietly smirked, as he put a bullet in the man’s head,

A fragile soul, cried in despair as he fell on the crossing during lights  red.

 

Cold floor, knocks on the door, a manic smile played on his face,

Deep inside, no truths were lied, as devil felt no disgrace.

A doorknob clinked, the door swung open, evil stood before an angel,

She felt disgusted, as she trusted, an idol for betrayal.

 

Knife and gun on the table, clothes on the bed, he went to take a bath,

Clothes clutched tightly, tears stained blots of blood, she knew he chose the deadliest path.

Blank mind, her sanctity declined, “I see you’ve murdered again”,

His ecstasy glowed, wine as he poured,”An old man this time”.

 

The dawn approached, the devil provoked, as he woke up to another day,

A long breath, with no regrets, his sight was on another prey.

She waited, immensely devastated, she shrieked, “WHY?”

He maniacally smiled, wore it for a while,”Who’ll stop me?”, he said,”Goodbye.”

 

He ran far, reached a graveyard, he took a place near tombstone,

Sun shined, plans in mind, how to kill lady this time alone.

Dawn to noon, and dusk to moon, darkness wrapped the world in an embrace of hell,

Enthusiastically he stood, pulled up his hood, air cradled his psychopathic smell.

 

Lights were bleak, he quietly sneaked, into the victim’s place,

She was dressed in gown of white, bathed in dim light, but couldn’t really see her face.

No angel, no guardian, could rewrite the fate of what destiny that night wrote,

Prey was blind, as devil came from behind, and he slit her throat.

 

Sea of blood, squirted like a flood, as the lady fell on the floor the moment he killed,

A familiar cry, dreadful sigh, and everything for a moment became still.

Staring the dead, holding his breath, he turned the woman and picked her from floor,

Tears lashing, his world collapsing, as everything fell apart he stood for.

 

She was not the lady, but his angel, who was in his arms dying in pain,

Cried in agony, washed away vanity, tears rolled down like rain.

Then he spoke, whacked and choked, screamed with rage, “WHY?”

Amidst the death, counting her last breath, she said,”Who’ll stop you?” and sighed.

(Thank you so much eFiction India for publishing this poetry.)

 

 

Four Knocks at the Door

It was a merciless cold evening in the month of December. It felt like crisp, white snow smothering the summer which appeared like somebody laid a sparkling white sheet over what was once a rough road covered by excruciating  rays of sunlight, and put it to bed. I was mesmerized seeing the beauty of nature while I sat on couch when I heard four gentle knocks at the door. My feet shivered as every little step I made towards door in dilemma, wondering who would wander at this hour through snow in night.

My warm hand touched the cold metal doorknob which released the latch and made the door swung open. My eyes were blinded by the world of white, the moment I was exposed to this new world. Snow was absolutely magnificent but the chilly breeze brought me down on my knees. Amidst this, something tall and heavy-built up was seen which appeared to be a silhouette of a man. He now stood just an inch before me, wearing military uniform and an Army hat which covered the dark shadows of his eyes. The same hat, which I wandered everywhere wearing of my dad’s. The same military uniform, which I saw wore by my dad. The tall man was holding something in his hand concealing the dark shadows of his eyes. He went down on his knees and handed over me the same dress, with same badges what dad used to wear. The only dissimilar thing was that it had splotches of blood all over which made the whole difference. I shattered into billion pieces like shards of glass and ran into my room and threw myself on the bed, tears seeping and vanishing in the snow as the man stood straight; saluting.

Those four knocks at the door reverberated ever since.

For 17 long years, I was haunted and tormented by this question, that what dad gained by joining Army, what was worth giving up his life, what was there which he always loved about? Answers to which died with dad himself. To seek for the answers to this question, to this tragic truth, I knew what to do. I needed to delve into the depths of his mind. And so, I decided to follow his footsteps and joined the Army.

The initial years were never easy. The PT everyday early in the morning which made my hands all numb. The long distance running which shook my bones and made me fall apart. But one thing became clear why dad decided to choose this toughest life of all. Why he gave up all his luxuries and opted to leave everything behind and joined Army selflessly. I knew dad learnt the same thing which I did. I learnt how to never give up on anything, how to keep pushing myself, to achieve what seems to be unconquerable. I learnt how to vanquish the darkest fears of my mind, of my soul, which lurked inside of me. I learnt the true meaning of relation as my brothers who were beside me, who saw me at my best and worst and still chose not to leave me behind and swore to be with me till the apocalypse.
Puzzle of questions, which tormented every part of my body for 17 long years were now seemed to fall into one place.

4 years later, our battalion was sent to fight a battle at no man’s land where we were showered upon by barrages and bombardment. There was nowhere to go and it felt like we were sitting on our own pyres. Just then, one of our brothers slowly stood up from behind a boulder so as to take an aim for a shot and a bullet penetrated through his head. Transfixed, I stood there and watched my brother to die in agony and felt all those years rushing through my head once again. The battle ended, as we were able to revert them back but death and despair clung our back.

The following day, I stood outside a house amidst the snowfall, holding my brother’s uniform firmly. I felt all those years revived back as I wore military uniform and an Army hat to cover those dark shadows. Four knocks at the door and I stepped back the moment I heard a  door knob clink in return. I went on my knee and handed over the uniform to the young boy who stood before me.  Memories of that fateful day flowed thick and fast through my veins as I saw the young boy breaking apart at the seams. The boy broke down into billion pieces and ran into the house, who better understood living a life of broken dreams?  Engulfed by snow and tears rolling down my eyes, I stood straight; saluting.

Those four knocks at the door reverberated ever since…

 

(This piece of work is inspired from Linkin Park – Castle of Glass)

 



Embraced Hell

He wonders when it started, when it seemed he fell,
He fell in love with darkness, he fell in the depths of hell.
He started loving whiskey, he started loving his Saturday nights,
He hated Sunday mornings, he enjoyed his bar-room fights.

He started puffing on cigars, he started wearing cheap cologne,
He learnt to love his night life, he enjoyed his life alone.
He loved to feel the lust,  he loved to feel the burn,
He hated when she taught him, lessons he never wished to learn.

He loved her by all means, his feelings were strong,
Until the day she turned away, the day which lasted far more long.
That was the day when it started, that was the day he fell,
He wrapped his arms around darkness, he embraced his hell.

They slept in darkness, now he stays awake long past the light of day,
They learnt how to dance and then she danced his life away.
Then came a point in life, he knew he slipped off track,
He stood before Almighty, he took his life back.

He begs for her forgiveness, he remorse for all his wrongs,
He started writing poetry, he started writing songs.
He screams on the cliff, he admits he lost his control,
Burden of guilt still lurks inside him, breaking apart his vulnerable soul.

He now speaks against injustice, he now cries out for weak,
He sing songs to deaf, he hear from those who can’t speak.
He still loves whiskey, but he hates Saturday nights,
He still hates Sunday mornings, but has stopped  bar-room fights.

He still puff on cigars, but has stopped wearing cheap cologne,
He still loves his night life, but he hates life alone.
He still loves to feel the lust, but now he feels different burn,
He teaches his own life story, tells all he came to learn…

The Warrior Within

I do apologies as this was long overdue but I hope that this doesn’t effect in any way.
This one is dedicated to one of the most beautiful girl whom I’ve come across in my life. Sanaya, I hope this brings a smile on your face.

She stood at a distance unaware how amazing she was looking. The mild breeze swayed few thin strands of her long straight hair on her head which has always glorified her beautiful face. She looked in the mirror once again and satisfying herself that, that black slit looked good enough, she stepped out from her house carrying her silver colored clutch which looked decent with her bracelet. As the club was not much far, she preferred to walk rather than calling her driver.

The yellow streetlights had dully lighted up the grey-black tar road, the bright green benches with paint scraping off along its sides, the only witness to this pilgrimage of sorts. She walked as if the ground beneath her feet begged for her to glorify it with her essence. She held her head up high, as if she commanded the wind to blow only the right tresses of her hair, to make the trees bow down in front of her unparalleled beauty.

But, something was wrong, something to be blamed. This soul, who’s elegance was felt like directly blessed by heaven, who’s innocence was pure as anything and white as snow, was looked upon by hatred by passersby. She ignored all the grimace of them. She passed the patch which was lighted by pale yellow lights. But, she suddenly felt all broken when she overheard two anonymous persons talking without knowing a thing about her as one of them said, “Look at her, trying to flaunt her legs so as to seduce strangers.” She felt the earth crumbling within her feet as she heard those words. She shattered, like the thoughts in her mind at the prospect of living like she was incomplete. She kept her head down, as wind felt like cutting through her throat and her burnt skin. She stared her own shadow and thought – How could God make someone so parochial?

As she entered the club, she saw a familiar figure, approaching towards her. She passed a smile, forgetting about the words she heard 10 minutes ago, but which left an impression
on her heart like a cicatrix that will last forever. “What took you so long?”, he asked while he got mesmerized in her beauty when he saw her in that black slit. She preferred not to explain what just happened with her and how much burden of words she was carrying. She danced with him and felt all the craziness which lurked inside her all again. She became wild as what she was. They looked into each other’s eyes. He let his thumb caress her beautiful cheek and slowly glided his lips over her’s and it combusted into stardust as desire set them on fire. But suddenly, this act of love was shattered into pieces like shards of glass, as she heard people of their age talking so insensitively about her as one of them said, “How slutty she is!” This time, she completely broke down, the moment those words reached her. She barged through the door and directly headed home.

20 minutes later, he stood outside her room as the main door of house was unlocked. He knocked the door and heard a gentle click in return. The door swung open, disclosing a dark room lit by dim lights. The bed sheets lay strewn all over the place, as she stood by the door, traces of tears all over her face. “Why do they always do?”, she asked, her voice quivering.  Gently letting his finger wipe her tears, he said “Love, you’re a big girl now.” He kissed her forehead and she hugged him and cried, broken emotions and gasps, trying to soothe what was dying inside. “You will never leave me, right?”, she asked, her probing, green-eyed gaze searching the depth of his soul for any lies. “Never”, he said, despite knowing these words will be broken by her only.

That night, when he left, she sat at the corner of her room and didn’t sleep and that night, a lesson was learnt that no matter what, we shouldn’t care for those who’s only purpose is to hurt the sentiments or emotions of us. We should concentrate on our goals and should do whatever it takes to achieve our goals, our ambitions. As she was, the wild crazy person who liked to do all crazy things, the typical city girl, she learnt to stop paying attention to those having low mentalities. One who mistakes her wildness, her craziness for slutty behavior. She realized her worth that day. And only thing which was left in her life to pay attention was to achieve her goal, her ambitions which was to become a fashion model. That day, she truly realized the fighter within.

12 years later, he stood outside her room. He was surrounded by same dusty walls and musty floor. He gazed at the room, thinking where that lesson started. He sat down on the bed, sheets were tidy though, got stuck in the past and landed on the boulevard of nostalgia, reminiscing  everything while she ramp down the world…

Glimpse of Past

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Gazing back in yesteryear, dust from the past,
Written in sand, all those questions they asked.
Last days of autumn, something went wrong,
Leaves started falling, darkness grew along.

Something was different, something to be blamed,
Fate, they cherished, was completely changed.
Another piece of riddle, yet to be solved,
His bafflement was shown, when her sight was gone.

Lost and petrified, but mostly confused,
Seeking for an ounce of comfort yet to be ensued.
Someone he loved, so undefined,
Shoved back to blind spaces, his words couldn’t find.

Neither any warning, nor any sound,
Until she was gone, and years fell around.
Fantasies which they had, were drawn in the sand,
Into the traces of dust of a far away land…